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Rant #2

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***For everyone reading this, there is icky girl talk here. So, be warned***

I am fidgety, anxious and worked up. It seems like a normal phenomenon now. It’s that phase where I am begging for some sort of control because I have the feeling of drifting. I will not disrespect my Master by saying that He doesn’t give me time. On the contrary, my excessive neediness is the problem here. I have work, He has work – but I cannot concentrate because I am being needy. 

I don’t want to annoy Him, pester Him incessantly, seem weak and pathetic (even though I am weak and pathetic).

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night (happens to me, I wake up, check my phone and go back to bed) and sent Him a text with just one word in it – “Master”. Pathetic? Pathetic. Probably, when I’d be in a different frame of mind, I’d comment on how corny cheesy this was a sign of my submission.

Alternatively, it could be PMS. I don’t really know how my PMS manifests itself, it’s just a bad time for me, and I realise it was PMS after I’ve started with it. A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G.

P.S. I have decided to title these posts as “rant # __”. I am morbidly curious to see exactly HOW MUCH I rant. 

P.P.S. Still needy and clingy.

8 thoughts on “Rant #2”

  2. I’m so glad I found your blog! I feel like I could have written myself. The struggles, the cravings, the need for more. You state it all so beautifully ..

  3. Not pathetic. There is nothing wrong with feeling. That you want and crave his attention is not bad or a sign of weakness. How you act out these feelings is what counts and it sounds like you are being very respectful of your master’s time and needs. PMS can make us “over” feel though, so be careful of this and really think before you “over” react. Peace.

    • I know what you mean. There was a time I used to act out and react badly. But I’ve been trying to be better, to be His good girl.

      Thank you for reading and commenting :)

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