Protected: You like it when I’m loud, don’t You?

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

More Control.

I know I keep telling you guys that I am clingy and needy. I am, I definitely am. But, two days ago, I realised something. In my absolute times of need, my Master is always there for me. Always.

Sometimes I think I give Him far too little credit. I am needy, and I have to work on being a little more secure, because He cannot give me every minute of His day. (On a side note, I also notice that on days when I am swamped with work, this neediness goes away. This neediness is a product of an empty mind. I see what the Devil is doing, his paradise it is.)

Anyhow, two days ago, I started freaking out in the middle of the day about something. I was hurting myself (emotionally) over a stupid thing and that ache in my chest was coming back. I sent Him a text immediately, and He demanded to know everything that was bothering me. I told Him and He forbade me from doing the thing I was doing – immediately. He took time out to stop me from unnecessarily hurting myself over a silly little thing.

I don’t want to make this sound corny or anything, but somehow, I started feeling better. I calmed down, and stopped freaking out. And  even though, a couple of times, I found myself going down that path again, I stopped myself. His ‘Master’ tone settles in deep somewhere in my head, even if it’s over text. (I remember this one day when I had a headache and I needed some medication, His expression changed when I told Him I hadn’t eaten in a while. It was a little..unnerving. I never ever want to make Him mad at me.)

The interesting thing is, our relationship is evolving. Certain rules are emerging; some routine practices are being laid down. We figured that there might be some element of DD/lg with us. Fingers crossed on that one. It’s very interestingly arousing, for the both of us, apparently.

This journey, as the year closes, seems like a crazy roller coaster ride. The year began on a very negative note for the both of us. But, it seems good right now. All’s well that ends well, right? 

 

_______

P.S. Happy birthday, Master. 

 

Rant #2

***For everyone reading this, there is icky girl talk here. So, be warned***

I am fidgety, anxious and worked up. It seems like a normal phenomenon now. It’s that phase where I am begging for some sort of control because I have the feeling of drifting. I will not disrespect my Master by saying that He doesn’t give me time. On the contrary, my excessive neediness is the problem here. I have work, He has work – but I cannot concentrate because I am being needy. 

I don’t want to annoy Him, pester Him incessantly, seem weak and pathetic (even though I am weak and pathetic).

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night (happens to me, I wake up, check my phone and go back to bed) and sent Him a text with just one word in it – “Master”. Pathetic? Pathetic. Probably, when I’d be in a different frame of mind, I’d comment on how corny cheesy this was a sign of my submission.

Alternatively, it could be PMS. I don’t really know how my PMS manifests itself, it’s just a bad time for me, and I realise it was PMS after I’ve started with it. A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G.

P.S. I have decided to title these posts as “rant # __”. I am morbidly curious to see exactly HOW MUCH I rant. 

P.P.S. Still needy and clingy.

The Dynamic of Rules – 8th November 2013

This explains the need for rules so well. I have been reading and researching about being a submissive, to find basis and reason for my thoughts and everything I crave for. This post does justice as to why we as subs need rules.